zeldathemes
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hellabloggin:

[magician voice] and for my next trick i will literally not fucking care at all about anything

lardypoison:

this was supposed to say ohana means family autocorrect ruined a really beautiful moment

lardypoison:

this was supposed to say ohana means family autocorrect ruined a really beautiful moment

elle-davraz-healthy-life:

sixpenceee:

oh my god

prob me as a mum

elle-davraz-healthy-life:

sixpenceee:

oh my god

prob me as a mum

cloudcuckoolander527:

tokilladm:

What if colleges only made you pay the percentage of tuition that you failed, so if you got an average of 86 for the year you’d only have to pay 14% of the tuition, but if you got a 94 then it’d only be 6%. That way we’d be rewarding the success and even if you flunked the semester, you still wouldn’t have to pay for ALL of the tuition

You are the future. 

beyoncebeytwice:

can someone invent a candle that smells like a blown out candle

stoned-levi:

sleep-ran:

FREE ORIGAMI PAY ONLY SHIPPING

Hi. I’m Karen, and I have psychiatric issues that are slightly alleviated by origami. I tend to give them away or leave them in places since I make them in excess (check my origami tag). I make them constantly as a soothing activity, and I thought it would be nice if other people can benefit from this as well.

If you tell me your preferred colors, if you want birds, flowers, or both, I’ll make some for you and ship it in a small box about as big as a trade paperback book. You only have to pay for shipping. If you’re in the continental US, that should be about five-six dollars give or take. You’re also welcome to donate to me as due to my disability, I cannot hold a regular job, but if you can’t, that’s cool too.

Expect it to take anywhere between a few days to a few months. I have a bit of a life. Thank you for your time.

omg you guys shipping is only like $3-$6

capitolsjay:

this guy is systematically undoing the world

How to make friends 101

scarynoodle-taku:

mayor-evan:

mayor-jasmine:

mayor-jasmine:

1.) Send them anon messages saying ‘expand dong’ for about a week
2.) Ask if they want to know who u are
3.) Tell them anyway
4.) BOOM! Friendship

Thank u to kilimanjunko for teaching me this method
I hope you all make many friend

I’ve got two ‘expand dong’ messages since this
Dying

I got one^-^

let’s expand all our friendships like we expand our dongs

coelasquid:

therorasaurus:

so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself. 

image

default album art
Played: 1,699,659 times.

ask-heichouu:

novur:

SO SOME ASSHOLE GOT HOLD OF MY PHONE AND CHANGE ALL MY CONTACT NAMES, ICONS AND RINGTONES TO THIS FUCKING THING

SO NOW WHENEVER I GET A CALL MY PHONE THINKS IT’S BEING ALL CUTE LIKE “it is a mystery” FUCK YOU MAN

This is a blessed post and that ringtone is the cutest thing BUT I CAN NEVER FIND THE FUCKING POST FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS

oh-godno:

ramavatarama:

waywardvagabondslilcousin:

a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption

one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan

years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal

he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”

NOOOOOOOO

I DONT GET IT????

lachances:

this is as far as i’m doing it

lachances:

this is as far as i’m doing it

emmysaurus:

taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 7 years?? no one can be sure